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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732740">"Oikawa, you must tell us your secret!"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MihaAndJ/pseuds/MihaAndJ'>MihaAndJ</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, I Don't Even Know, M/M, this is a joke, this is funny okay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:36:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MihaAndJ/pseuds/MihaAndJ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hajime meets a strange figure while he is waiting for Tooru to return home.</p>
<p>&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“How did you become so good at volleyball?”</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Tooru just smiles.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>“Honestly? I sold my soul to the devil.”</em>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime &amp; Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"Oikawa, you must tell us your secret!"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aylaxani/gifts">Aylaxani</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  “Oikawa, you <em>must </em>tell us your secret. How did you become so good at volleyball?” The interviewer blinks at Tooru and smiles and <em>obviously </em>tries to be flirty. Tooru doesn’t seem to notice and just smiles back. Hajime, in front of the TV, rolls his eyes.<br/>
  “Honestly? I sold my soul to the devil.” The interviewer laughs and Tooru goes along. “No, seriously. It takes a lot of practice and time, as it does with anything, really. Just keep on…-“ Hajime interrupts TV-Tooru by turning off the TV and gets up.<br/>
He doesn’t need to see this. Tooru always tells the people what they want to hear. The same bullshit over and over again. Hard work, training, never give up, use the same hair-product as me, and you will become successful!</p>
<p>The kitchen smells of the curry leftovers Hajime left on the stove. He craves a cup of tea. Waiting for it to cool, he watches the window. Outside, the winter clearly takes over the world. It’s grey and dark. Thick fog is limiting Hajime’s view to the other side of the street. Suddenly he notices a shadow. It takes a while for him to realize it’s in the reflection of the kitchen-door. He turns around.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hajime likes to say, he’s seen a lot. He has seen Tooru Oikawa in every possible state: drunk, sleepy, sad, mad, happy, naked, which in itself, already is a lot. But he has also seen all kinds of people. Except this particular kind of person, that is now standing in the doorway leading to the living room, blocking the kitchen from the warm, living room-lights. Hajime knows this isn’t his roommate for two reasons. One is, that Tooru was in New York City at least five minutes ago and he couldn’t get from New York City to Tokyo in five minutes. The second is, that Tooru is human, at least somewhat, and the thing standing in the door definitely isn’t. It has no defined features and almost looks like it escaped one of Hanamaki’s sketchbooks. Its clothes consist of a dark cape and a hat. The face is covered with a scarf and only the yellow, cat-like eyes are visible. Hajime decides to take a sip of the tea for his nerves. Why does he always have to deal with things like that?</p>
<p>  “Who are you?” He finally says, after blinking a lot, emptying his tea and pinching his arm at least ten times, to make sure he didn’t imagine the creature.<br/>
  “I… loooook… forrr…. Oii… kkka… wwaaarrrr.” The voice of the creature is very deep and strange to Hajime’s ears. It also talks very slowly and Hajime wonders if this might be the reincarnation of his aunt Kaya.<br/>
  “He isn’t at home”, Hajime says and makes a vague gesture through the room. “What do you want from him?” Partly, Hajime expects to be attacked any second. But instead of jumping at him to rip off his head and eat him as dinner, the creature falls to its knees and… cries. Tears. Big tears that look like they could fill multiple cups.</p>
<p>  “What’s… wrong?”, Hajime manages to ask and makes a hesitant step towards the creature. It whimpers.<br/>
  “Toooo… rrrruuu… Oiii…kkkkaaa…wwwaaarrr.” Is all it has to say until it continues to sob and wet the entire kitchen-floor. “There, there…”, Hajime says, and almost has to laugh at himself. He is used to people coming to him to cry about Tooru. But usually those people are human, teammates, and the reason why they’re complaining is fairly obviously something idiotic Tooru did. Hajime wonders what he pulled off to make a comic-book-monster cry.</p>
<p>~°-°~</p>
<p>When Tooru returns home, the creature had introduced itself as Lucy and accepted a cup of tea. Hajime did not sleep that night. That thing, that was occupying the couch in the next room kept his mind running. He received messages from Tooru – <em>see you soon; Just a few hours away :); IN TOKYO; Am home soon; See you in 10min. :3 – </em>but he didn’t answer. Now, as Tooru stands in front of the door, he realizes that he might should have prepared him for what was expecting him at home.<br/>
<br/>
  “Hiiiii, Iwachaaan!”, Tooru’s voice is at least an octave higher than usual as he hugs Hajime tightly and drops his bag on the floor. “Did <em>youuu</em> see me on the show?” Tooru’s eyes are huge as scans Hajime from head to toe and smiles brightly. “Partly”, Hajime answers and looks away. This scan-procedure made him feel embarrassed.</p>
<p>  “Listen, Shithead, there’s something…-“ But Hajime is cut off as Tooru’s face changes to pure horror and his gaze is fixed on something behind him.<br/>
  “Wha… What…”<br/>
  “Yeah, this is what I meant to tell you. You see, this is…-“</p>
<p>  “What are <em>you </em>doing here!?” Tooru points at Lucy, his fingers shaking.<br/>
  “Iiiii, wannnnt rrrrefuuuund.”, Lucy says. Her voice sounds a little higher than before. Her yellow eyes are wide.<br/>
  “No, no, no. Absolutely not!”, Toorus voice had gone up as well, but it sounded more hysterical than the voice he used to greet Hajime: “No refunds!”<br/>
  “P-pleasssse.”<br/>
  “No, no, no!”<br/>
  “Okay what the hell?”<br/>
  “She… She can’t take it back, Iwa!” Tooru sounds close to tears, “Tell her she can’t!”<br/>
 </p>
<p>Hajime manages to get Tooru out of his shoes and sit him and Lucy down in the living room. Both are very quiet.</p>
<p> “Okay.”, Hajime readies himself mentally for every possible situation. “What the heck?” He says and turns to Tooru.</p>
<p>  “This is Lucy.”, Tooru says.<br/>
  “Yes, I came so far.”<br/>
  “She’s the devil.”<br/>
It’s silent for a minute.<br/>
  “She’s what?”<br/>
  “She’s the devil.”, Tooru repeats and looks up, “And I sold my soul to her. About ten years ago.”<br/>
Hajime turns to Lucy, who simply nods.<br/>
  “What the f-“<br/>
  “Iii… wannnnnt… rrrrrefuuuund.”, Lucy says.<br/>
  “But <em>I </em>don’t want to take it back!”, Tooru snapped. Hajime holds up his hands.</p>
<p>  “Wait, wait, wait… So you sold your soul… to the devil… for what?”<br/>
Tooru looks at Hajime with raised eyebrows as though it was obvious.<br/>
  “To be good at volleyball.”<br/>
  “To be… no, nevermind I <em>am not </em>surprised.” Hajime sighs, “And Lucy wants a refund, because…?”<br/>
  “Thissssss soooooul suckssss.” Lucy says simply and points at a leather bag she dropped next to the TV.<br/>
It’s silent for a while. Then, Hajime snorts.<br/>
  “There you go, Tooru. Your soul is so terrible, not even the devil wants it.” Hajime laughs out loud and put a hand up against his forehead. “This is too good!”<br/>
<br/>
  “I don’t want it back, though. I need the volleyball skills. I am a professional. Taking my soul back would ruin my career, hell, my whole life even!”<br/>
Tooru gets up to pick up Lucys bag and shove it In her face.<br/>
“You’ve overstayed your welcome. Take it and leave.”<br/>
Lucy’s giant yellow eyes begin to waver.<br/>
“Pleassssse noooooo… pleaseee takeeee…. it baaaaaaack!”<br/>
“You take it back!”<br/>
“Pleassssse, you…”“No you!”<br/>
“You can keep everything! Jussssst pleassse, take it baaaack.”<br/>
At this, Tooru looks genuinely surprised.<br/>
“I get to keep my skills?”<br/>
“Yessss…” Lucy had sunken together so much that she was sitting on the floor, defeated.<br/>
“Jusssst, pleassssse…”<br/>
“Yeah yeah, we’ll keep it.” Hajime snatched the bag from Toorus hands and smacked his head.<br/>
“Be decent, Shittykawa!”<br/>
“But…”<br/>
“Youuuuu keeeeep the ssssssoul?”<br/>
“We…”</p>
<p>“Yes, we do.” Hajime scowled.<br/>
It didn’t even take a second for Lucy to get up and look as strange and intimidating as ever.<br/>
“I willllll takeeee my leavvvve.” She turns around and bows to Hajime.<br/>
“Thaaaank you.”<br/>
And Hajime feels as though it wasn’t just for the tea.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yeah, so this happened.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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